Sarimanok Feather v 4 is Done!

Sarimanok Feather banner

On one rejection of “Sarimanok Feather” I received the following feedback: “I found the world interesting but the story was slow in building tension for my tastes.”

After some thought, I decided the story needed some drastic changes in order to get at the core of the story. I realized that I was introducing a milieu story, when in fact, this story is a character story. So I needed to cut down on the interesting description and focus on what my character really wanted in her life.

I ended up completely cutting the first 800 words of the story (a real darling) and completely reworked the ending. I think the story is more satisfying now, but probably needs some touchups in the new scenes. I’m not sure if that will be a minor or major effort, so I’ll let it sit so I can look at it again with fresh eyes.

  • Started January 30
  • Finished February 3
  • 2,023 words
  • 62% the size of v 3.1

About Annaliese

Author of the fantasy short stories "Infant Insomnia" and "Curelom Riders." Also a mother of three, one of which has outgrown allergies to gluten, and dairy, though he still reacts to nuts.
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